Why am I so hard on myself?

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Confused… Lost.!

I felt a little lost entering 2013,
the same amount of lost I felt leaving 2012.
I just don’t get it, this thing called life.

I thought I was getting it.
But it still eludes me.
Maybe just a little disillusioned.

I seek truth.
To fight lies that always seems to threaten my mind.
But there still seems to be two voices.
There are always two voices.
And I hate that I always end up in that awkward middle ground.

Maybe this is everyone’s struggle.
Thinking we’re getting better,
Till something comes and knocks us down again.
Most of the time though,
I think, that something is me.
There is no one else to blame.

Magic? is it?

Think about it: It all just feels so fake, you know? This idea that good things happen to good people. That there’s magic in the world, and that the meek and the righteous will inherit it. Too many good people suffer for that to be true. Too many prayers go unanswered. And every day it just gets worse. Every day we ignore how truly broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it’s all going to be okay. But it’s not going to be okay. And once you know that, there’s no going back.

There’s no magic in the world…at least today there isn’t..