Incarceration

I can feel the burning inside my stomach
As it thrives each coming day
Because everyday their screams become louder
When I can no longer endure to be the prey

I close my eyes tight
Seeing the pictures that I refuse to let out
They are like a scar forever residing in my mind.
But I cannot open my eyes for fear these creatures will doubt.

The shrieks of help does not cease
As I try and block out their scarring sounds
From my no longer innocent mind
That knows no longer any bounds

The fulfilment never comes
As I descend into my desires
Only when I seize to dream a life of independence
Do I see myself reaching those aspires

But is it this affliction
That leads me to my depression
Or is it those unforgotten memories
Which has forced me to my incarceration?

Why am I so hard on myself?

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Confused… Lost.!

I felt a little lost entering 2013,
the same amount of lost I felt leaving 2012.
I just don’t get it, this thing called life.

I thought I was getting it.
But it still eludes me.
Maybe just a little disillusioned.

I seek truth.
To fight lies that always seems to threaten my mind.
But there still seems to be two voices.
There are always two voices.
And I hate that I always end up in that awkward middle ground.

Maybe this is everyone’s struggle.
Thinking we’re getting better,
Till something comes and knocks us down again.
Most of the time though,
I think, that something is me.
There is no one else to blame.

Fevered Dreams..


My mind’s a whirl,

  With crazy thoughts…

Of empty hope’s,

   And, feeling’s lost…

So many dream’s,

   Unfulfilled…

So many things happening,

   It’s so unreal…

I can’t stop this,

   Unforgiving cycle I’m on…

Of  nightmare filled dream’s,

   I’m so far gone…

Just reaching out,

   For anyone…