What’s holding you back?

That’s a good question. As I listen to my music when I’m alone– my mind wonders elsewhere. That’s….normal for virtually everyone. So what’s holding me back from moving on? What I think it is, (that I’ve come to realise), is that I dwell….And once I start dwelling, it becomes a step-backwards because it’s hard to accept. Despite the fact that I am over the person, I haven’t accepted the fact that that’s what had happened to me. I always get flabbergasted at the thought of what happened…. and silly me, blames herself.

 

Dwelling
The position or state of being engrossed in a memory of the past. To live in a certain situation. Isolated as a lingerer, and subjectively proven to be difficult to get out of. That’s what I tend to do when I’m in my own world. Remembering the past. Going through what happened. What could’ve happened. What didn’t happen. And what was hoped to happen. Once you get into that state of mind, all hell breaks loose.

Negativity comes to play. Doubt. Confusion. Anger. This puts you in a position difficult to accept.

Acceptance
The attitude of identifying the situation and acknowledging it despite whether it was wrong or right, bad or good. That’s something that will indeed take me to the next step of moving on.

So what have I done so far to help fuel my confidence to move on?
I’ve removed all record of photos and archived to a space where I wouldn’t access. I’ve started meeting new people, hanging out with new friends, trying to keep myself busy and what not. So far so good?

    

In a nutshell, yes. Outside the nutshell in essence, makes me vulnerable. The unknown world of dwelling and absence of acceptance.

But the hardest thing to erase, is the memory itself. Actually, I don’t think it can be erased. A memory is a memory. If I was a computer I’d reformat myself. But it just doesn’t work that way lol.

So really, acceptance is the key. That then becomes the pinnacle moment of who I will become. In the end, it really is all down to me! I can either accept myself with a negative or positive attitude, or accept the reality of this world. And what’s that reality? Well, lets look into that another day…

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