Tales behind the tunes…

Music is one thing that has the most control over a persons life. One lyric and you’re enjoying yourself and the other you’re breaking down. Especially, love songs. The sad ones make you not want to ever be in love. They make the concept of love sound like the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to you. Then again, theres the happy ones. The ones  that make you crave it again. That make you want someone to hold you and tell you they love you and that you’re the one that makes their day. That make you want to feel love again. It’s like an addiction. You don’t know what its like to want it until you try it for the first time. The first time you fall in love, it changes you. It makes you experience things you never thought you could possibly feel. And once it breaks you and you fall out of it, sooner or later, you wan’t it again, you want the security and the comfort love brings. You want the love. And now, you will not settle for anything less. Because you cant bear to take any more heartbreak.

Just those little things we remember to forget…

I think weddings are pretty. I think old couples are adorable. I think the sea speaks different volumes to every single person in sight. I think people leave, and it hurts, but eventually you’ll see the light. I think pain changes you, and you’ll figure its for the better. I think little kids cuddling with their parents is one of the most beautiful sights in the world. I think your pet dog jumping on you as soon as you get home is the best welcome one can get. I think its good to have days when you feel pretty. I think we make life seem much harder than what it already is. When God takes something away from you, he always has a plan to give you something better. Every ending, is a new beginning. 

Awakening.

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it … When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out “ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.” And, like a child quitting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about.. Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practised to begin with..

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10″…. Or a perfect human being for that matter… and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

…but i want you to stay.

 

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Dear heart, its him…
Why him?

I over-think everything!

From how long it takes you to text back, to the song you like, to the things you do.
It worries me how much I like you,
It worries me that you don’t like me as much as I like you.

I’m losing my appetite and losing sleep.

I stay up all night thinking of perfect scenarios. And try to scrutinise every dip and curve of our good, not-so-good, bad, really bad kind of conversations.

You make me happier than I ever thought I could be,
And I’m also scared that I ever thought I could be.
It’s unreal.
Coudn’t you make it more chaotic, more bewildering?
.
.
.
Or Could you just hold my hand and tell me that everything is forever?
And be mine.?

And stop…  being confused!

My First Prom.

Standing in front of the door, its him.
Nervous.
I hold myself confident as I go down the stairs.
Reticent.
My friend gazes with her narrowed eyes.
Tension or envy?
Butterflies in my stomach..
Those words she said run through my mind.

I flush, I look down…
Ashamed.. Blushing..
He stares at me with uncertainty.
Why did he have to ask me?

My friend acts so sweet.
If only she was always like this.
If only she knew the real ‘me’ that I do.

I smile at him as he grins with pride.
Regret and anxiety pierce my mind,
As I am being tortured with words spoken.
But it doesn’t bother me.
Hiding scars and hiding fears,
Appearing beautiful and unbroken.

He puts his arm around me.
We laugh the time away.
Sadness and her words are forgotten.

Finally, the last step…ready!
He opens the door for me;
And we arrive to prom with stares.
He grabs my hand, and helps me.
Our name is being shouted with awe.

We go inside with many girls in dresses.
They all are so pretty and so happy.
All smiles and laughter, no room for fear
A full time show with the stage following me.
I can do this.
*Deep breath*

As we were guided to the dance room,
I couldn’t help but gaze at the beauty.
Balloons, flowers, dimmed lights.
My first prom.

Time was passed right before my eyes.
Going by unnoticed with laughter, dancing,
Pictures and poses, compliments, friends,
Happiness…….memories to cherish.
My first prom.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award!

A second (and the last) Blogging award of this year… Lately this blog seems  to be a fan site rather than a storage of my writing.  A thank you to all my readers, visitors & followers who make me keep writing and active on this blog.

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Firstly, thank you Thomas. You really made me feel special after a very depressing day! You’re an angel! I urge you to sneek a peek at his Blog. It’s heaven reading his posts…

The rules:
1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

7 Things about me:

Well, I’m like any other 16 year old girl. I lovee chocolates, teddies, movies, drama, flowers, cakes and football (exceptional); writing poems and listening to songs is what I like the most; I like interacting with people; Demon Salvatore is my favourite actor.

Nominees I feel fall under this category:

1. dedicatedtothebest

2.  Wise journey

3.  67paintings

4. Frommymusings2U

5.  bwthoughts

6.  Neeraj (Amazing photographs and posts)

7. Roohbarooh

8.  A faded romantic’s notebook

9. WilhelminaUpton (My all-time favorite)

10.  Thoughts on my bookshelf  (Can never get bored of your blog! Explicitly beautiful!)

11.  Betwixt and Between

12.  Mindfulness4now

13. A word or two…

14. Life as I see it

15. Poet Jena’s Blog

So Hope you enjoy reading these blogs! And all my nominees, you’ll are worth this award! Congrats. Write more and keep up the good work!