Why am I so hard on myself?

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Confused… Lost.!

I felt a little lost entering 2013,
the same amount of lost I felt leaving 2012.
I just don’t get it, this thing called life.

I thought I was getting it.
But it still eludes me.
Maybe just a little disillusioned.

I seek truth.
To fight lies that always seems to threaten my mind.
But there still seems to be two voices.
There are always two voices.
And I hate that I always end up in that awkward middle ground.

Maybe this is everyone’s struggle.
Thinking we’re getting better,
Till something comes and knocks us down again.
Most of the time though,
I think, that something is me.
There is no one else to blame.

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Harder better, faster stronger.

Never been stronger.

Now I know what I need to be!
Anything, anyone-as long as it’s me,
No one’s allowed to see my tears again,
they’re too precious to be seen.

This life worth’s nothing, but we still fight.
Those eyes of hell and heaven showed me the Light…

I need nothing more, now I know the way,
and I’m getting wiser and stronger every day.
I look at their eyes, I see empty space.
They’re just too blind to see,
They say words they do not mean,
They do things they do not believe,
So many lies and nothing’s real.
Some may say they know it all,
But still this thing they do not know.

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My ambition, my dreams,
to travel and unravel.
The secrets of a world unseen,
by many other human beings.

I must go and discover.
But first I need to know more
I have to study and play.
Skipping all the stones of risk,
That lies on my way.
And block my path to my Destiny…

I need to see the pale white moon,
I must explore the earth
I need to learn about the “Big Bang”,
The Universe , and its birth…